Is a Honeymoon Fund Tacky?

I love everything about my mom and Mindy Kaling except their thoughts on honeymoon funds.

Here's what my mom says, "They're tacky." No further thoughts.

Here's what Kaling says in her book, Why Not Me?, which I actually read while honeymooning in Indonesia, a trip that was all the more enjoyable because our wedding guests gifted us with a good chunk of this trip: "I dont love being asked to be an investor in a crowd-sourced honeymoon...it's not especially emotionally rewarding to know that I paid for three of five nights of a yurt rental in Big Sur."

To be honest, I wasn't 100% comfortable setting up a wedding registry of any kind - whether for honeymoon gifts or Bloomingdales bowls, it felt a little bit like I was 8 years old making a list for Santa. But people are going to give you gifts and they may as well be the gifts that YOU want.

My mother may actively want to gift newlyweds with a Simon Pearce bowl, but in my case, I actively wanted to do it up in Southeast Asia much more than I wanted a bowl. There is a generational difference that can't be underestimated here as well: my parents were moving into their first real suburban home as soon as they got married with immediate plans for kids, while most couples I know have plans to live in an apartment with limited cabinet space for as long as possible, and are itching to take a few trips around the world before having kids.

So if your only hesitation about a honeymoon fund is that you are breaking from tradition or risking judgment from guests, I say create a wedding registry that traditionalists like my mom and Mindy will appreciate, AND set up the honeymoon fund of your dreams.

We received hugely appreciated gifts from both camps, but our honeymoon was by far and away the best gift possible because we created experiences and memories that were literally once in a lifetime, and we got to enjoy them without any financial stress or guilt. 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on February 22, 2017 and filed under Honeymoon.