When I think back to the first few weddings I went to, I was definitely not such a great guest. Things like rsvp-ing on time or sending a gift were not so much on my radar. But now that I've been to a good 30 weddings and am planning my own, I've learned a thing or two. Here are 9 wedding guests who fail -- so you don't have to.
1. The Late to Reply GuesT:Since numbers determine budget, seating charts, and menu, a late Rsvp causes the bride and groom more stress than I ever could have imagined. That "due by" date on the invitation, is a dead serious deadline that you want to not just meet but beat. Basically Rsvp as soon as humanly possible.
2. THE COMPLAINER: It's good to know your role. The guest is invited to be supportive and to be fun. To bring the party, not the critique. This role pretty much doesn't expire. Your steak was under-cooked? The bartender was slammed and didn't pour a stiff drink? Whatever it was that didn't go smoothly from your perspective should never be expressed to the bride and groom. Like never.
3. The latecomer:There are a few ways to deal with being late in life. But if you're late to a wedding, there is one way. Sneak in and fake it. That said, showing up just as the ceremony is starting is the worst kind of late; worse than showing up after the ceremony has started because you're disrupting the bride's moment. It's better to wait and sneak in after the bride walks down the aisle than to hustle to your seat seconds before she walks down the aisle.
4. The Needy Guest:Yes, there are a ton of moving parts during the week of the wedding and you're allowed to be confused about where to go and when, but you don't want to ask the bride or groom for details before you check the wedding website or ask around. They have a million and one things on their mind, plus they probably spent a decent amount of time and money on their website and invitation. Ask them as a last resort.
5. The pushy guest:It's not fun to go to a wedding solo, but 9 out of 10 times, if you didn't get a plus one, don't ask for one. If you feel really strongly about bringing a date, ask well in advance (10-12 weeks) before the wedding. Asking any closer to it is bound to push the couple's stress level over the edge.
6. The Gift-less Guest:I know; weddings are expensive. It's perfectly acceptable to gift the bride and groom within the first 12 months of their marriage, but the sooner you do so, the less likely you are to forget.
7. The Random, Off the Registry Gifting Guest:This is a low level offense, but it still makes the list. I thought going off registry was cool and creative, but even the coolest and most creative brides have told me that mostly, it actually isn't. This shocked me since registries have always seems to be nothing but boring lists of home goods, but now that I'm registering I get it. The bride and groom really do want, or need, what's on there. Unless you know them really well, or are giving cash, which seems to be universally appreciated, stay on registry, even if what's on it seems really boring to you.
8. The Over-served Guest:You've seen it at least a few dozen times, there is a fine line between the guest who's the life of the party and the guest who's puking in the bushes, breaking vases and falling on the dance floor. Stay on the right side of the line.
9. The guest who wore ThAT:At the risk of sounding just like a mom, here goes: it's the bride's moment. Don't steal it by wearing something white, or something so scandalous that people are talking about you more than her.